cuddlecity | & burned out flames should never reignite.

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* dropped characters

& burned out flames should never reignite.

CHARACTERS: the flash + captain cold
LOCATIONS: the green room
WARNINGS: terrible life choices
SUMMARY: leonard and barry get together to play pool. it's a disaster waiting to happen.

[ he gets there early. earlier than he'd originally planned to, even. by almost half an hour. it's a little ridiculous, but leonard needs to get his thoughts in order and that's always easier to do when he has something to do with his hands. so. pool and a beer off to the side. lots of thoughts that have him frowning as he racks the balls.

this whole thing is probably a terrible idea. even though kara's call had pissed him off, leonard can admit that. problem is, he doesn't know what to do about it. ignoring barry isn't an option, as far as he's concerned; it won't solve the problem here. what's more than that, he doesn't want to ignore barry. he's on a very short list of people leonard might actually trust a little bit, and in a place where different kinds of intimacy may literally save his life, that's a big deal.

still. he doesn't want to hurt barry any more than he already is just by existing. it's why he's playing this cool as well as by ear. dipping his toes into the metaphorical waters and seeing what happens. and most decidedly not mentioning to anyone how curious he is about the fact that he--or some version of him--fell in love with the flash.

the eight ball sinks into a pocket. leonard glances at the clock and decides it's time to rack things up again and wait for barry. he leans against the corner table he's claimed for them, cue in one hand, bottle of beer in the other. his eyes are on the door as he waits, but there's a careful nonchalance in his posture. this may blow up, but he's gonna try his damnedest to make sure it doesn't. ]

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I'll keep that in mind for next time.

[assuming, of course, that there'll even be a next time. with his conversation with kara still fresh in his mind, he isn't entirely sure how good of an idea any of this is. sure, he isn't expecting snart to suddenly recall everything, but he can't deny that there's still a part of him that just...wishes.

scrubbing a hand through his hair, barry gives a nod in response, words temporarily stuck in his throat as he gets a good look at the other man. there's an urge there. one to pull him in to a hug. to kiss him and pretend that this is still len. it's something that's taking every ounce of his control to contain, and it leaves him fidgeting instead.]

A beer. Beer's fine. [now to just turn his attention back towards the other tables. give him a moment here to reign his thoughts back in again.]

[ while barry takes that moment to gather his thoughts, leonard goes and gets him a beer. pays for it and everything, though the next round's gonna be on barry, if they get that far. ]

Here. [ he holds the bottle out towards barry. tries not to think about how all that unremembered history, all the things they've barely touched on in conversation hang over them like a fog. luckily, he's got a lot of practice pretending like things are fine when they're really not. ]

How long's it been since you've played?

[accepting the bottle with a quiet thanks, barry is thankfully a little more put together again once snart returns. but it still takes a solid few seconds of drinking before he's able to offer up any real response to the question.]

Five years? I mean, there was a pool table in the Gallery, but you- He never got round to playing with me. I saw a lot of people playing there though.

[considering he pretty much lived there for most of his stay in eudio. and tended bar. but somehow, actually playing a game of pool had never come up.]

I might be a little rusty, but I'm sure I can hold my own.

[ he huffs out a laugh as he gets things ready on the table. ]

Playing, hustling, or both?

[ if eudio was anything like this place--and from what little he's heard, it sounds like it was--he'd guess more playing than hustling. but bars like the kind leonard would work at tend to attract a certain clientele and he wouldn't be surprised if some people were getting messed with.

he holds the cue ball out to barry, ever-present smirk hiding in the corners of his mouth. ] I'll let you break.

Both. He owned the place, so...

[a shrug, and then he's setting down his bottle so he can try and...remember how to do this. despite the rules that the last place had, there'd still been more than enough less than savory deals taking place under the representatives noses. (or probably not unnoticed, but not important enough to be stopped.) hustling was a part of what made the bar the gallery.

the ball is placed down, and he takes a few moments to try and find a way to handle the cue that doesn't look as awkward as it feels. a little longer, and he's hitting the cue ball. completely off-angled. but (a quick abuse of his speed and) would you look at that! somehow the ball is suddenly heading in the right direction. only to scatter the rest of the balls and roll back into a pocket.]

... That wasn't meant to happen.

[ there's no muffling leonard's amused snort. ] You don't say.

[ he walks around the table and fishes the cue ball out of the pocket and places it back on the green wool. ]

You're holding the cue wrong. [ he leans over to demonstrate, explaining all the while why one hand is held where and what the other does to help steady the cue and aim. a swift, practiced motion sends the cue ball right where he wants it to go, knocking another ball into a pocket. ] Try again.

In my defense, we'd all been drinking the last time I played.

[back when alcohol at least affected him. he may have never been the type to get drunk enough to forget the night before, but it was enough to turn each and every one of them in to a pro pool player. at least in their eyes.

watching snart take his shot, barry tries his best to take it all on board and focus on the lesson itself rather than checking the other man out. (look, it didn't take a trip to eudio for him to realize that leonard snart was an attractive man. he isn't blind.) so at least when it's his turn to give it another shot, he has a little bit more of an idea of what to do.

too bad it doesn't go anywhere near the pocket. but at least the cue ball is still in play. a fact that has him grinning widely back at snart all over again.]

Better?

[ leonard takes a moment to just look at barry--the way he bends over the pool table as he lines up his shot, how he's holding his hands, maybe a little bit at the way his jeans fit over his ass. but he's careful to keep his expression neutral. to make it look like he's only observing because of the lesson and not because he's attracted to barry.

which he is. has been for a while. but the speedster is very much off limits so he reins in his wandering thoughts and only indulges himself the slightest bit. ]

Better. [ he can't help but give him a little smirk in response to that grin. ] We might make a pool player out of you yet.

[ he takes his turn at the table, eyeing where everything is and weighing options in his head. going easy, at least for now, seems like a decent way to play things. not like they're really keeping much of a score anyway. so he lines up a shot, sinks a single ball into a pocket, and resists the urge to throw a look at barry over his shoulder. ]

Something tells me it's going to take more than a couple of games to make that stick.

[which is a less than subtle way of making it clear that he doesn't expect this to be a one time thing. they might not be the closest of friends back home, but they haven't been enemies for a long time now. spending time together like this doesn't seem all that strange to him.

hands wrapped around the cue, he uses it almost as a crutch as he leans forwards to watch snart take his next shot. something that's entirely about wanting to take a closer look at the table and nothing to do with that bringing him that little bit closer to the other man. clearly. but then he's effortlessly sinking another ball and barry can't help but laugh at that.]

See, this is why I said you should've pointed me at a library first. I'm starting to feel pretty outclassed here.

Library wouldn't've helped. It just takes practice.

[ something that leonard has years and years of. shitty bars with pool tables have been his hangout of choice for something like twenty years. and when he thinks of it like that, damn does he feel old. ]

We'll just have to keep working on it. [ he gestures at the table. ] You probably won't get it tonight, but keep trying.

You don't know that the library wouldn't have helped. I do pick things up quick.

[retaining that read about knowledge, not so much. but that's not something he'll be mentioning right now. instead, barry turns his attention back to the table. he takes his time this turn, his gaze critical as he finally takes in to account the angles he needs. the positioning of the rest of the table rather than just the cue ball and whichever target it closest. given that they're meant to be enjoying themselves right now, his expression looks a little more serious than it probably should. but he doesn't want to keep messing this up, so he knows he needs to concentrate. just long enough to take his shot and--]

Hah!

[that would be a ball sunk. and he even managed to keep the cue ball in play. (just no pointing out that he sunk the same set as snart.)]

[ len doesn't mention a thing about not getting the right ball. he'd already written this round off as practice and not a real game. hardly seems fair to keep score when barry's so abysmal after all. ]

Nice. [ the pun, and the look of concentration, and that proud little exclamation make leonard smile. just a bit. ] Looks like what I said is starting to sink in.

[ he's a terrible person why does anyone hang out with him. ]

[the whole thing feels familiar in a way that he knows isn't likely to end well. for either of them. but as much as he knows he should take that as a cue to back off, he can't help his grin. can't help but revel in that familiarity. len, snart, whoever. they're still ultimately the same person afterall.

yeah, he's screwed here. and not in a good way.]

I guess you should chalk that up as a win. [okay, so speed puns are more his thing. but he's trying here.]

[ from the beginning, he knew barry was in over his head with this whole thing. but leonard didn't quite realize how the knowledge of what happened between them in that other city would affect things. he's never been very good at leaving things he likes but can't have alone. he knows he should try to be better about this. but-- ]

Think I could get that in writing? Or maybe, [ he leans over the table and lines up a shot, emphasizing his pun as he makes the move with the cue, sending another ball into a pocket. ] you can just stroke my ego a little more.

[ where's the fun in resisting temptation? a little tension won't kill them. ]

[there have been certain times over the past few years that he's been fairly certain that snart has had it out for him. sure, shooting him with the cold gun would be the more obvious examples. but beyond that, there are times where his words or actions have pushed him in a way that no one else has ever come close to doing.

this, is just such a time. and of course, it had to happen just as he's reaching for his beer again. so naturally it's time to knock the entire bottle over as he starts.]

Uh... [he has to know what he's doing. they may not have flat out talked about it yet, but he knows snart isn't oblivious. he likely already knows far more than he's letting on. so saying something like that, barry can't be blamed for the leaps his mind takes.]

...I don't think I know how to answer that without scaring you off or needing to leave and I really don't want to leave so please don't talk like that unless you actually want me to follow through on it because I would and I know that's a bad idea butyou'remakingthisreallyhardandIdon'tmeanitlikethatsodon'tlaughatme.

[okay, breathing. he remembers how to do that. hopefully.]

[ all the amusement fades once barry startles enough to knock over his beer. what was a fun game a moment ago is now the kind of sticky situation leonard would usually bail on. he leans against a (not damp) part of the pool table and, though relaxed, stands in slightly defensive way. ]

Breathe, Barry. [ it takes him a moment to parse the squished together words, but when he does, he sighs and looks down for a moment. ] I'm not gonna laugh at you.

[ but he has absolutely fucked this up, hasn't he? and now he's got to make it right otherwise he's not going to have a superhero to banter with and kara may laser him to death. ]

I don't do feelings. [ he starts, pinning barry with a serious--but not upset--look. ] You can probably guess why. [ it's a liability in his line of work. and even if it wasn't, lewis beat trust and openness out of him before barry was even born. ] And I don't have the memories of whatever we had back in that other city. I can't be the version of me you knew, and I'm not gonna start anything. Not while you're clearly grieving; I'm not that much of a dick.

[ harsh truths that need to be said. he's broken barry down, now to see if he can build him back up. ]

But it'd be a lie to say I'm not intrigued. That I'm not attracted to you. You don't have to worry about scaring me off. [ not when he knows what he knows and feels how he feels. ] Only thing you gotta worry about is how badly you're fucking yourself up over this.

[ leonard looks away, then. leans his cue against the table and reaches over to pick up barry's now mostly-empty bottle of beer and moves towards where he can dispose of it and maybe get a towel. he pauses a few paces away, glancing over his shoulder but not looking right at barry. ]

Ball's yours, Barry. Do with it what you will.

[he's silent as he listens, his eyes squeezed shut for those first moments that he spends simply breathing through his panic. this isn't the way this conversation was meant to go. he wasn't meant to jump to conclusions and blurt it all out like that. but it's too late now to take it all back, so he just has to...hope. that he hasn't ruined everything.

but it's when snart moves on, when those admissions come, that barry's eyes snap back open again, his surprise all too clear as he stares back at the other man. it isn't a no, and that's more than he was expecting. but having that possibility laid out in front of him like that--]

I know you're not him. But you're still you. You're still-- [it sounds weak, even to him. words that don't offer anything by way of an explanation. the rest doesn't seem to come. he's still busy trying to find them, jaw set and body tense all over again as he has to fight that urge to run again. whatever snart is offering, he doesn't want to throw away. doesn't want to miss out on. but he knows what's at stake here, and he refuses to ruin it all by jumping in when they're both well aware that he isn't ready yet.

he seems to deflate all at once, his cue dropped on the table and game completely ignored. he shouldn't have come. kara was right. he should've at least waited a couple more weeks before attempting this. it's a mistake, and he doesn't know how to make it right.]

You can't offer me that, because if I take it, I won't know how to let go.

[ he takes half a moment to throw out the beer bottle and uses it to collect his thoughts. a few feet from barry he stops, slight frown on his face. what a shit situation they've gotten themselves into. ]

I can't offer anything but that. I'm not take advantage of what's going on with you. [ leonard glances to the side for a moment. sighs. ] I can't stay out of your space forever, [ not with how few people from home are here ] but if you need me scarce, I'm gone.

[ need, because he's pretty sure the last thing barry wants is for him to pull a disappearing act for a few weeks while that broken heart gets glued back together. ]

Otherwise, I'll cut down on the ribbing and we'll... see how things go.

No. [the gap between them is gone before he even registers the fact he's moved, fingers twisted into the sleeve of snart's jacket. as much as he knows staying in touch with him will probably hurt, he can't see any positive in cutting off all contact. even if it's only temporarily.]

You can't disappear. I can't know you're here and not at least get to talk to you.

[he lets out a slow breath, his grip on snart dropped in favor of running a hand through his hair. he's back to feeling uncomfortable again. back to feeling like a fish out of water. it's something he'd usually distract himself from by seeking out a select few people. and unfortunately, the largest distraction of them all is also the current cause of that discomfort in the first place.

he needs to leave. at least for now.]

...I should go. I think-- I need to go. I'm sorry.

Save the apologies. [ there's no real need for them. they both knew what they were getting into. sort of.

leonard lifts his chin in the direction of the door. ] Go on, get out of here, Flash. [ a beat. ] Text me when you're feeling a little better.

[ it's something like a compromise in his mind. contact without the tension that being face-to-face brings. not disappearing, but not being overly social either. maybe that'll help some. ]

[he only nods in response, knowing that anything else he might say now would only make this even more difficult to walk away from. he wants to step in close. wants to remove the space between them and kiss the other man. but he knows it's something he can't do. not now. possibly not ever. this isn't len, and remembering that is getting harder by the second.

so, between one breath and the next, barry is gone, speeding out of the pool hall off for a long run through the city. he'll get back in contact with snart once he's had some time to clear his head.]

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& burned out flames should never reignite.

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