The fact that she's still sitting here asking questions is actually weirdly reassuring. It means she isn't so scared that she'd rather come up with some excuse to put as much space as possible between them as quickly as she can manage to. He'll take it.
Derek smiles a little, but it doesn't reach his eyes. If he's completely honest, fear makes him want to turn because he feels stronger and more secure in that form, even though he has the same abilities either way. Telling her that isn't going to assuage any worries, though, so he goes with the next best thing.
"When I need or want to feel stronger and more focused, I transition halfway because I identify more with the wolf part of myself than the human one. The human one has always felt more like a mask that just sort of fits especially well, but isn't really me. When I want to feel...free or I need to relax, I go full wolf and go for a run. The latter, I do pretty much daily, but most people will never know it, because I just run in the woods and then switch back."
He keeps a change of clothes hidden in the bushes whenever he does it, too, because otherwise people would catch on quickly that something wasn't quite right about the random naked guy in the woods.
"...what other questions do you have?" he finds himself asking, a little uncertainly. The uncertainty comes from the fact that he's never invited anyone to ask questions about werewolves...except other werewolves freshly turned or people he was planning on turning with their permission. This is different. He couldn't turn Felicity — or anyone — even if he wanted to, but if he could, he wouldn't. He's done with all the Alpha stuff, thankfully. He's not a leader. He was bad at it, people died because he made critical errors in judgement, and he's not keen to have that sort of responsibility ever again. He's letting her ask more questions because...he's interested in getting to know her more and he can't ask to get to know her without letting her get to know him. And, well. This is a new place and he's starting a new life. It's equal parts liberating and terrifying, but he's going all in on starting fresh and being a whole new, hopefully better, Derek.
no subject
Derek smiles a little, but it doesn't reach his eyes. If he's completely honest, fear makes him want to turn because he feels stronger and more secure in that form, even though he has the same abilities either way. Telling her that isn't going to assuage any worries, though, so he goes with the next best thing.
"When I need or want to feel stronger and more focused, I transition halfway because I identify more with the wolf part of myself than the human one. The human one has always felt more like a mask that just sort of fits especially well, but isn't really me. When I want to feel...free or I need to relax, I go full wolf and go for a run. The latter, I do pretty much daily, but most people will never know it, because I just run in the woods and then switch back."
He keeps a change of clothes hidden in the bushes whenever he does it, too, because otherwise people would catch on quickly that something wasn't quite right about the random naked guy in the woods.
"...what other questions do you have?" he finds himself asking, a little uncertainly. The uncertainty comes from the fact that he's never invited anyone to ask questions about werewolves...except other werewolves freshly turned or people he was planning on turning with their permission. This is different. He couldn't turn Felicity — or anyone — even if he wanted to, but if he could, he wouldn't. He's done with all the Alpha stuff, thankfully. He's not a leader. He was bad at it, people died because he made critical errors in judgement, and he's not keen to have that sort of responsibility ever again. He's letting her ask more questions because...he's interested in getting to know her more and he can't ask to get to know her without letting her get to know him. And, well. This is a new place and he's starting a new life. It's equal parts liberating and terrifying, but he's going all in on starting fresh and being a whole new, hopefully better, Derek.