I know. ( Because how could it not scare him? Clary has seen first hand the assumptions people make when they meet Jace. They look at him and see a warrior, cold and sharp and deadly. It's how he likes to be perceived. Or maybe, how he used to. He's changed a lot, since they first met. She might have been caught up in that belief too, had circumstances been different. She's so glad then, that she knows otherwise, so glad that he's being honest with her with her now.

She couldn't bear it if he closed her out.

Jace leans closer, and Clary's breath catches in her throat, eyes doing nothing to hide the strange sort of thrill it brings. It's like her world shifts every time, turns on it's axis until it's right again and Jace is close. She can't help it. How she ever pretended to be anything but hopelessly in love with him is a mystery. )

I think --. ( A pause, Clary worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth. Now she knows the truth, it should be easier. But the lies have left scar tissue on them both and trying to talk about it feels like reopening a wound. ) I think I was so ready to accept it, because it gave me a reason for how I felt. Whenever you were with me it was like that's where you were meant to be. It's where I was meant to be. I hadn't felt that way before, so when he lied to us, I thought maybe I'd confused it, that belonging with you was just a different kind of love.

( It should feel like a betrayal, telling him this. There's still Simon to think of. But Clary is so tired of pushing down her emotions. She's tired of trying to be strong. )

I thought maybe if I just acted like I was supposed to, then it would make sense. That I'd forget how I wanted to --. ( Kiss him, every time she saw him. Clary lets out a sigh, her gaze skipping to his mouth and back up, guilty and powerless to stop herself. ) That I wanted you.