→ it’s crashing lately, your echoing heartbeat, echoing heartbeat

[creatio]

CHARACTERS: Clary Fray, Jace Herondale, Kimberly Hart + open prompts.
LOCATIONS: All around Cadelle.
WARNINGS: Spoilers for the end of Shadowhunters s2, mentions of death & murder, general angst.
SUMMARY: Returning from her canon update, maybe crying a little lot.

closed to jace.

( She'd only meant to leave for an afternoon, half a day, enough to reassure her worries that her best friend and father figure were safe and well. She'd told people she was doing it too, waving off concern with friendly charm and happiness. Everything would be fine, she'd be back, she just needed to see and make sure, so that she could finally stop stressing. She hadn't expected what would follow.

Jonathan, Sebastian, so much fighting and too many secrets, a war they couldn't win looming ever present, losing Izzy's closeness in the chaos, Dot, pain and agony and finally, finally doing what needed to be done, Valentine's blood on her hands and splattered on the shore.

Jace.

Whatever the welcome committee tries to tell her falls on deaf ears. She doesn't even stop to accept her old communicator, instead she's pushing past them and away, out of the building as fast as she can. Her heart thuds heavily in her ears, the metal smell of blood filling her senses, bruises across her cheek. She doesn't think to pause and wash it off, uncaring for the wild way she looks as she sprints across town, she doesn't care that she doesn't know who's caked across her knuckles - Valentine, her, or Jace. His building is quiet as Clary takes the steps two at a time, panic lodged in her throat, hard and unyielding. It's been too long for her, how long was it for him? What if he wasn't here now? What if he's gone, body unmoving at the edge of Lake Lyn.

Her fists hammer on his door without care, Clary blinking back the tears that are still threatening to spill She needs to know, she needs to. He can't have gone, she can't be here without him. )

closed to kimberly.

( She goes home the next day. A very large part of her wants to stay, as if Jace will vanish the minute she looks away. But she also knows she needs this, that she needs her friends, her cat, her home. If she doesn't try she might go crazy. At least by now Clary's washed off the dirt, has healed the bruises with an iratze, she's wearing her jeans and a shirt that belongs to Jace, and she'd look normal if it weren't for the way her eyes have gone hollow. She needs to sleep, she knows that. But it isn't coming easy.

Clary lets herself into the Barbie house quietly, her welcome committee a tinny bell as Simba jumps from where he's perched to amble towards her. She wastes no time in picking him up, clutching him to her chest, face buried in his fur. Breathing in, Clary kicks the door closed behind her and calls out. ) Kimberly?

( She hopes the other girl is here, but she'll wait if she isn't. )

open i.

( She'd texted the people who needed to know by now, but as for any questions, Clary hadn't been able to answer them without the ever present knot in her throat. Mostly she wants to hide away until it stops hurting, but that's not the kind of girl she is. Eventually she has to find her way back.

Which is why she forces herself out of bed, fills her backpack with her sketchbook and her pencils, a flyer from the university tucked between the pages. She stops at Wake & Bake for a coffee, before heading to the park. It's much more peaceful out there, and so Clary folds her legs beneath her when she takes up a picnic table, jams her headphones in her ears, and starts to sketch the scene in front of her. )

open ii.

( She is officially the worst employee in the world. Not only because she disappeared for half a week without giving Magnus a heads up, but also because it takes her days after the fact to even return. Eventually though, Clary pushes the door open, bell ringing above her head. She spends the rest of the day mindlessly tidying up, or doing her best to answer questions on things she knows nothing about - seriously, inseams, she'll just leave a note. That or she's curiously poking through the potions that have cropped up in her absense.

Either way, Clary Fray is back. She needs a drink. Or five. And distraction. )

wildcard.

( I'm at athosing or Sarah#9964 on discord if you want to plan anything specific. )

Comments

[recoined]

( normally, kimberly spent the week alternating between her own bedroom and her boyfriend's. there was no real rhyme or reason to one place or the other, just whatever wound up being more convenient in the moment. but when "a few hours" had turned into "a few days", as the days had stretched into nearly a full week, kimberly began to panic a bit. what if clary came home and no one was there to find her? what if she was ill or injured coming back, and needed someone to be there to help her? she wasn't going to risk it.

no, kimberly had gone so far as to start sleeping on the couch, just in case, so that she might hear her friend's return and be alert for it. she'd basically become a homebody over the last few days, ordering groceries in and taking a few sick days from work just to be on the alert. suffice it to say, kimberly hart was ready for clary to come home so that things could come back to normal.

so, while she was a little bit grouchy about getting woken up at least it was what she wanted. )

About fucking time. I was about to send out a goddamn SEAL team... ( a soft yawn escapes her, choked back by a swallow, and kimberly squints to get a better look at the other girl. sure, she may be in normal people clothing, but she knows her friend. that dead-eyed stare? that's not the clary she knows. ) Jesus, Clary.

( come on, redhead. kimberly doesn't hesitate to reach out, dropping simba without preamble in order to tug the other girl into her blanket cocoon on the couch. cuddling without asking, that's just the way these things go. )

Where have you been, huh?

[creatio]

( It's far too easy to let herself be tugged along, to allow Kimberly to ensconce her in blankets. Whatever plans she's concocted to keep her true feelings underwraps is thrown out immediately. She should have known she couldn't pretend. She should have known her nearest and dearest could see right through her.

For a moment she just breathes in slowly, out, lets the comfort of the Barbie House wash over her. It's good to be back. )

Sorry. ( Because she wasn't an afternoon, and because Kimberly's clearly been sleeping on the couch. ) It was harder than I thought to find the time to come back. Things just kept happening.

( It isn't the right kind of description, but Clary doesn't know what else to say. Instead she curls her arms around herself and leans just to rest her head against Kimberly's shoulder. )

Jace said I was less than a week. Did anything happen?

[recoined]

You mean aside from the missing persons report I was going to file? ( kimberly huffs under her breath, heat bubbling out in an attempt to let that misguided irritation go out with it. she's not mad at clary. she's... stressed, a bit, because her best friend had gone missing. she's tense because she's spent the last who-knows-how-many days listening for any little sound or looking for any little clue that might tell her where she'd gone. but she's not mad. kimberly's relieved. ) No. Nothing happened.

( she's quiet for a moment, shifting to wrap her arms a little more snugly around clary's torso, fingertips of one hand carding softly through bright red strands. )

I... ( it's almost intimate, in a way that's strange to kimberly. she's never really been into girls the way she's liked men, but there's no doubt in her heart that she loves clary. like a sister, perhaps. fierce and devoted, someone who's clawed her way into her heart without fear or hesitation. if this was another world, her next words might have different meaning; in this one, it's genuine, but nothing more. ) I was worried about you. I couldn't stop thinking about what you said when you left. I thought — I thought something had happened to you, that you weren't coming back.

( she sniffs a bit, trying to quell her own emotions, trying to keep her focus on reassuring her friend with soft touches and gentle warmth. )

I kept thinking, what if she never comes back? I don't want to be here by myself, Clary. I don't want to share this house with somebody else.

[creatio]

I'm back now.

( Clary keeps her eyes closed, turns her cheek a little against her friend's shoulder. It's not quite a cure to the way she's been feeling, but it's enough of a balm that she feels some of the pent up panic ease from her chest. She'd almost forgotten what a home felt like, and the first time around she hadn't taken the house for what it was. But going back to a world where she had nowhere had made her see. This was where she belonged. In their bright little house with their friends and a future that could be found if only she grasped it.

None of these rooms had ghosts in them. )

I'm not going back again. This is it now. I can't leave.

( Jace is dead. Jace is dead, and everything she could have had has thoroughly slipped through her fingers. They'll have to force her out. Because she won't leave. )

I want to do what we were talking about. University. Settling. I want that.

[recoined]

( the other girl burrows into her like she's starved for warmth, and kimberly doesn't hesitate to pull her in, close enough that their skin blends together under the shadow of a thin blanket. the couch probably isn't wide enough to accommodate them both like this comfortably, but they'll make it work. they always do. )

Okay. It's okay, Clary. You don't have to go anywhere.

( the words carry double meaning; clary's welcome to stay curled up on the couch with her as long as necessary, obviously, and kimberly's not going to send her back home any time soon either. she doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to. )

We can look at classes tomorrow. ( she shifts back just enough to be able to peer down at her friend, trying to coax a small smile out of her. ) We can get cinnamon buns from the bakery you like, maybe? Or a breakfast pizza?

[creatio]

( She gets a smile, small and slight but it's better than nothing at all. ) Both? Both sounds good.

( When was the last time she'd actually eaten? Clary can't remember. She isn't hungry now though, still unwilling to remove herself from the blanket cocoon and the warmth of a friend at her side. She's just tired, an ache inside the cavity of her chest that feels heavier than anything she's ever had to hold onto before. Food is the least of her worries right now. )

I'll call Magnus tomorrow. Get more shifts. And Robbie wants me to design something for the garage, so I can do that too. It'll be good to be busy. Get back to normal.

( It'll be good for her to not think anymore. )

[recoined]

Both. Sounds good.

( a small, tired smile, and kimberly presses her cheek against the bright strands of clary's hair. she hadn't realized just how tired she was until now; in between sleeping poorly on the couch and being woken up with a start, kimberly's running a bit low on battery power thus far this morning. she could probably stand a nap... or a massive pour of caffeine. )

Can we nap first, though, and then get food? I'm ( a beat for a yawn she doesn't even try to stifle. ) not feeling up for moving yet.