( kimberly doesn't care much about nudity. well, maybe that's unfair. to be more specific: kimberly doesn't care much about being naked in public. she tends to reserve that sort of thing for private shows these days rather than public avenues — not that she was ever really a nudist, and certainly not that she's ashamed of her body or anything. no, she's quite proud of it, actually. before she ever even picked up that glowing pink coin, kimberly hart had been a devoted gym-goer and cardio-doer, spending plentiful time in and out of the gym ensuring that her body was, as the kids say, ready. after it? well, the pit certainly helped to keep her up-to-date on what she was capable of doing, and here... well, zumba classes, the occasional spar, and plenty of impatient running around town definitely kept her in shape.

but when opportunity comes knocking, well, you don't just ignore it. and finding that her body just so happens to be totally and completely pixelated from head to toe regardless of which way she poses in the mirror could be irritating... but it could also, just maybe, be totally exhilarating. time to do something she's only ever seen in the movies. something she never thought she'd be ballsy or brave enough to do.

so mid-afternoon, after her last class of the day, kimberly sends off a mass text to everyone in her contacts list. )

look at my boobs!!!

( god, she's shameless. at least her shower selfie happens to include pixelated body parts this time. )

we can't get arrested for streaking if we're not actually showing off anything, right?

( she likes to eat. she's a teenage girl with a ridiculous metabolism and an instagram obsession, of course she likes to eat. it's no surprise, then, that kimberly tends to find her mid-day meal at the wide and varied buffet lines of your plate or mine. with a salad bar that runs the entire south wall of the restaurant, she usually manages at least three or four meticulously plated (and impressively large) salads per visit.

except, of course, for today. while the restaurant is still open and still very much all you care to enjoy, the wall of beautifully chopped vegetables and salad accoutrements has been sadly replaced by a very much less appetizing wall of frozen yogurt machines. and, naturally, it's a no-refunds-once-you-enter kind of place; even the unimpressed girl working the counter seems unsympathetic to kimberly's distress. so it seems, despite her irritation, she's stuck with a room full of unappealing froyo for lunch. no way she's going to waste what she just paid and bail without eating something. )

Which is worse: cucumber or ranch froyo?

( you know the drill, kids. )