cuddlecity | a dream of spring (OTA with locked starters)

[The intent way Sansa is being watched might seem familiar too, but there's a bright smile at her question. Loki feels unexpectedly delighted that her friend has spotted it.]

Oh, I had no need of the well for this change. In fact, I had accidentally wished myself human on that wretched well, and when it wore off, in my joy at regaining my magic... [She sits back in her chair with a little shrug, as if to say, "This was the result."]

I'm sorry, I simply couldn't resist. But I am still Loki.

[ At least, the shift in the mood makes it easy for Baby to calm down, appreciate the sweetness of the moment, relaxing easily when Sansa gets comfortable. He brushes a hand along her hair, stomach knotting up at her words. It's the kind of words he wants to hear, but it's terrifying, all at the same time. ]

Hey, I'm not going anywhere.

That's good. I want you to stay. I have a hard time keeping hold of the people I care about. I'd like you to be different in that regard.

( Baby strokes her hair and Sansa relaxes, feeling for all the world like she could just bask in this attention and not need anything else for eternity. She's missed having physical affection so much and even touches like this, that aren't kisses, are necessary and precious. )

How do you mean?

[ He isn't sure of the meaning. He took her words literally, but seems like there is a lot more being them than she's told him so far. ]

( Sansa means it in many ways, both the obvious and not so obvious. Since she's relaxed and safe at the moment, she feels comfortable enough to discuss them more plainly than she might normally. )

People who care about me tend to die. People pretend to care about me and then deliver me into the hands of monsters. Westeros isn't like this place, Baby. In Westeros, the monsters always win. It's always a game and the other player is one step ahead of you - you don't have all the pieces to have a fair fight.

( She sighs a bit and tries to decide how to phrase the next bit. )

A man who told me that he'd protect me, a man who intimated to me that he had been a friend of my mother's? He sold me in a marriage to someone who humiliated me and brutalized me. That is what I am used to. It makes me cautious about trusting people because they'll turn. People aren't like that here, though. You're not like that. Kimberly isn't like that. I've never had that outside of my own family.

( Sansa laughs when Loki reveals himself, feeling a bit ashamed she hadn't spotted it at the outset. It's obvious now in the tilt of the woman's chin, the glint of her eyes. Of course. )

You have particularly great magic. We don't have anything like that in Westeros except...well, my sister Arya can change her face. She's an assassin though. It's sort of necessary.

There were few on Asgard who possessed the skill. It was not prized there. Few enough who would take on the role of assassin either. Asgard is not a realm that rewards deception.

[And so, contrary as she is, Loki had become very good at it. Now she presses her hand to Sansa's with a playful smile.]

If it is strange for you to see your friend thus, I can change once more, but I thought perhaps you would enjoy it, and I enjoyed surprising you.

[ There's no words the express how it feels, to hear her say that. To even try and imagine what that life had been for her. It's not a big leap to think that this is just the way Sansa's world works, what she's used to, what's considered normal and acceptable to her, and it makes Baby irrationally angry to even think that anyone, let alone someone as sweet as Sansa, could have been treated in this way. He likes to think that his life hasn't been easy every day, but this is another level entirely.

His jaw clenches as he forces himself to keep his hand soft on her hair, trying not to betray his feelings. ]

I'm so sorry, Sansa. That's - that's not a life.

It's the way things are. Life is an ugly thing sometimes, especially when you're a member of a Great House who went traitor. I believe my family did what they thought was honorable. They simply didn't consider the political climate before they did it.

( Sansa sighs a bit and closes her eyes, utterly relaxed with the way he's combing his fingers through her hair. She loves these soft touches like this, the currency of affection between a couple that she's never been privy to before. )

I'm steel now. I won't break.

It doesn't bother me. I have also had to play games with my identity. I haven't had the ability to change my face, of course, but I've had to be someone else for a time. I understand how it feels to slip on the mask of someone new and bury yourself beneath.

( Sansa's own smile is sweet and playful too. She's never seen anything like this and as strange as it is, it's interesting to her and it's still Loki. It's still her friend. )

Sometimes you have to lie to keep your head on your shoulders. It's a valuable skill even if those who prize honor despise it.

[ Baby bites the inside of his lip as Sansa talks, her voice and body relaxed, like they're talking about the weather, and not the fact that she was used, and abused, when she deserved so much better.

But she is strong, now, hardened by difficulties in ways Baby can't even imagine.
]

Do you resent your family?

No, I could never resent them. They simply didn’t realize what taking on House Lannister would mean and my brother was reckless and foolish when he declared himself against the Iron Throne. Still, wolves run together.

( This is something Sansa firmly believes, the fact that House Stark’s loyalty to family comes before all others is not lost on her. It’s something she keeps close to her heart even if she has to sometimes be more practical and deal with those who aren’t exactly loyal. )

There’s a saying in the North. When the winter winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives. I’ve been a lone wolf for a long time, trapped in a den of lions. What little bit of my family I have back now, I could never resent.

[It all sounds so familiar, so horribly, ragingly familiar. The idea that Sansa had done the same thing through necessity, but had not even had the defense of disguise...]

Sansa, my friend, you and I would have been powerful allies on Asgard. And perhaps too in Winterfell. But you've kept yourself beneath all your masks, and so you've won. How does your sister Arya change her face? With magic?

It is a sort of magic, yes. She hasn't explained it to me but she worships the God of Many Faces from Braavos. I think she has a coin she uses to change her face.

( Sansa knows that she's seen Arya look as one person and then another in a flash. She's seen disguises in Arya's things, things that would keep her identity hidden for a long while. )

She is very, very different from me.

Really... [God of many faces. That's an angle Loki hasn't considered. Something to fall back on, now that "god of mischief" seems to be falling short.] That sounds fascinating. If she arrives here, I shall need to inquire.

[But that isn't important now. Loki smiles and squeezes Sansa's hand before lifting her mug of heaven-scented jasmine tea.]

Well, I, for one, am glad you're here.

( Sansa cannot help but smile at that. Loki is a friend to her and while he may not be a friend she'd have in Westeros, he's a friend in Cadelle and that is no mean feat. She lifts her mug to Loki. )

To new friends. Loki, did I tell you that my wolf came? Lady came here.

She did? You have your Lady back?

[She can't help but look delighted, even looking around as though she's missed a wolf in the teashop.]

Where is she, is she here? Oh, I'd love to meet her, you've said so much about her.

She's out hunting at the moment but if you'd like to come along, I'm certain we can come find her.

( Sansa is beaming about Lady, honestly, because Lady is a part of her she thought lost forever. Having her again means having some of her childhood back. )

[ Baby nods. He might not understand but he’s more than willing to take Sansa at her word. This is so far out of his reach, after all. ]

Maybe one of them will come here, in Cadelle. Maybe you’ll get to be with family again.

[ Joe is never going to come to Cadelle, even if he could, of that Baby is sure. He’s got to make his own family, here. ]

I want my family to be here. If they're here, I know they're safe and nothing can harm them. My home is a very dangerous place.

( Sansa loves Winterfell with all her heart but if she never gets to return and gets to have her family here, safe and sound, as a consequence? She'll take it in a heartbeat. )

Seriously? Ladies aren't allowed to draw?

( Because Clary will fight a man, okay. )

You should come with me to the university one day. I think they actually have courses for fashion, if that's what you're into? So you can work with both of those things. Because there's like, so many possibilities here. Actually, Baby was the one who told me I should actually do something with my art here. It'd be nice to have a friend to go to classes with.

Most people don't get any education beyond a tutor or a septa at home. We learn to read and do simple figures, that's all. Drawing isn't exactly useful for attracting a husband or running a household so most women don't know how to do it.

( Sansa perks up a bit at the idea of attending classes with Clary, though. )

Do you think they'd let me attend? I would like to learn how to draw better than I do now.

Is that the wish you made?

( Sansa shakes her head and her smile is shy and embarrassed. Her wish is nothing so noble as that. )

No, I wished to have peace and time for myself. I wanted to have a chance to simply be Sansa and not the Lady of Winterfell or Princess of House Stark.

Do you want to know what I wished for?

[ It might be better that she knows he’s not exactly a good person before she gets too involved with him. ]

a dream of spring (OTA with locked starters)

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