Good morning, Cadelle!
As March takes its final bow to make way for April, we're sure you're without a doubt wondering with bated breath if the city will somehow experience another deluge from the skies above or some other kind of natural disaster. After all, there's probably a number of you familiar with the concept of April showers, right? Despite the predictability that the first of the month tends to bring, the sun rises on a new month without much fanfare at all. The skies don't open up, the earth doesn't quake, and perhaps most disappointing of all, there's no fun activities to partake in hosted by the city's beloved Volunteer Coordinators, Flora and Cornelius.
However, that’s not to say nothing exciting has happened. Mayor Drake’s gone missing — in reality, she’s simply headed south of the border for a little much-needed R&R — and while the mayor’s away, the cats will play. (Or is that the other way around?)
As the sun begins to rise, it’s clear that there’s certainly something in the air. Check your CuddlePhone, and you might notice a strange crackling sound, as if you’d wandered into a field of static electricity; try to access anything but the city’s main pages and you’ll be greeted with a cheerful yellow message. Strange, but it may be worth reading:
DEAR CITIZENRY:
It has come to our attention that the city of Cadelle has begun a dangerous descent into a dungeon of disaster. Debauchery, drag racing, and even drunken revelry have begun to pervade our once-wholesome city, turning our citizenry into a class of common courtesans and charlatans! We shall not settle for such shameful social airs! Resist raunchy recklessness, Cadellians, or be redressed!
— CCC
The Concerned Citizens of Cadelle
While there’s admittedly quite a lot of alliteration to be found in said message, there’s not exactly a lot of meaning here. Should you head to City Hall for answers, you’ll find yourself greeted by the ever cheerful, smiling face of Doris Delatante — conveniently enough, the same Doris who so happens to be wearing a pin emblazoned with the logo of the CCC. (For the curious, said logo is a cat. They may be wordsy, but no one said they were particularly clever.)
You won’t get much in the way of answers out of Doris, only calm reassurances that everything is as it should be. It’s fine, of course! What could possibly be wrong with a little call to action? It’s only in the best interest of the city, isn’t it?
Whatever the reason, and whatever you think about Doris’ strange all-pink attire, it’s hardly the strangest thing you’ll experience in the coming days. Over the course of the following 24 hours, the city and its inhabitants begin to find themselves… well, shall we say, adjusted?
▸ As soon as the sun comes up on the morning of the first, a gentle breeze begins to blow through the city. With it comes a subtle change. You may notice it straight away, or you may not notice at all… but regardless, the change still comes: no swearing. No, really, we mean it. No matter how fervently or desperately you try, anything more colorful than a golly won’t slip past your lips… or your pen tips, for that matter. Any attempts to do so will result in comically ridiculous substitutions — like bullshirt, motherforker, or fish sticks!
▸ By mid-morning, the rays of the sun have left the city in perpetual spring warmth. It’s a beautiful day, complete with merrily chirping birds and the sweet smell of flowers blooming in every corner of the city. The day should stay beautiful, shouldn’t it? So perhaps it’s with no surprise that even your naked body won’t disparage it… as nudity, even seemingly innocuous moments like showering, is met with censorship. Should you disrobe to your birthday suit, you’ll be met with sudden and efficient pixelization from the neck down, blurring out all those distasteful parts of you a la the Sims. This might make getting frisky a bit difficult…
▸ Finally, by the time your first meal of the day rolls around, you might find yourself ready for a hot meal on the go, or perhaps just another cup of coffee. No matter whether you stop at your usual joint or wander around looking for something new, every delicious delectable food item you’ve been enjoying will have been replaced by the gently spinning faces of self-serve froyo machines. Shops look normal on the outside… but inside, you’ll be greeted with the florescent glow of your favorite (or perhaps least favorite ) trendy frozen yogurt shop. Come in for coffee and you might be irritated yet amused, but the flavors don’t stop at cheesecake or chocolate or caffe mocha. Nope! Keep exploring, and you’ll be greeted with such strange offerings as pasta flavored froyo, complete with marinara or alfredo flavored cookie crumbles, or bacon and eggs froyo with sausage sprinkles … or, for the desperate, beer flavored froyo. (Bar nuts cost extra… and yes, that froyo’s a virgin. Alcohol would ruin the consistency!)
It’s not the worst thing in the world, but it certainly doesn’t feel like you’re in the Cadelle you’ve come to know and love, does it? Hopefully Mayor Drake will come back sooner rather than later, but until then… well, we suppose you’ll just have to make the best of this Good Place!
Isn’t this sweet? April Fool’s, Cuddlers! We hope you enjoy this particularly silly spring event, brought to you by a meddling citizen and her penchant for good behavior… and your mod team’s recent bingewatch of a topical NBC comedy. We hope you’ll have fun ruining the bad behavior of your characters, even if they won’t have much fun with it!
If you have any further questions specific to this event, we encourage you to ask away on our QUESTIONS COMMENT here in this post. If you have general questions, or prefer a more private venue, our GENERAL INBOX (and SCREENED INBOX) is always available for you. In addition, if you've got an idea for a future event, feel free to drop us a line at our EVENTS SUGGESTION POST.
Have fun out there, and just remember: be excellent to each other! |
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cuddlecity2018-04-01 10:03 am
Dr Heywood
so, question. Is it just me because the city is mad about my wish last time that ended in mostly public indecency, but. I was getting undressed this morning to take a shower and realized that. I don't know, I'm pixelated? My... private parts.
IS IT JUST ME??? Am I being punished???
if it's not just me, would someone volunteer for a sketching session? I'd like to record this
b. C.R.E.A.M.
[ It's solidly past 1 am, and yet if you were to walk past the library, you would not only find light streaming from under the door, but you'd also find said door open, like it's standard for a library to be open in the middle of the night.
If the library is look after by one Nate Heywood, well. It tends to be quite a common thing. But the light, and the open doors, they're only one thing. The other is the music, loud, pulsing through the building, heavy bass and rapid-fire lyrics, one of these old school rap songs. If you're into it, you might recognize N.W.A. ]
Order, order, order
Ice Cube, take the mothernugget stand
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth
And nothin but the truth so help your black donkey?
You god love right!
[ Listening intently, boots tapping on the floor and head moving with the beat, is Nate. He's holding a few books in his hands, sliding from one shelf to another, placing them back. He's not singing along, because there's a small notebook clamped between his teeth, that he takes out whenever what he knows is a swear word in the song is replaced by something else.
He may be dancing, a little. As much as one can dance to rap, of course. ]
Well won't you tell everybody what the nugget you gotta say?
Nugget the police comin' straight from the underground
A young gentleman got it bad 'cause I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
They have the authority to kill a minority
Nugget that shit, 'cause I ain't the one
For a punk mothernugget with a badge and a gun
To be beatin' on, and thrown in jail
We can go toe to toe in the middle of a cell
Nuggetin' with me cause I'm a teenager
With a little bit of gold and a pager
Searchin' my car, lookin' for the product
Thinkin' every gentleman is sellin' narcotics
[ Yeah. Nate is definitely dancing. ]
c. wildcard
[ the usual, hmu with anything or come chat to plot! ]
| bleep bloop |
[attached is a picture that would definitely be suggestive any other time, but today is more chaste than ever: a very tired Valkyrie face and neck sitting above a completely pixelated torso.]
my booze is all disgusting burning mint flavored green heckfire
heckfire
gosh darn it
i hate everything.
[yeah, her booze is all mouthwash and she's not feeling the minty freshness effect on her language, either.]
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But the alcohol thing is worse, because this is Valkyrie, and he knows how she drinks. ]
oh no what
there's no alcohol either?
how are you feeling?
[ He knows it's some sort of bad, but he wonders the level. ]
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I think "drunken revelry" might be on me.
[she's definitely grinning, even if it doesn't translate to the text.]
I've never died before, but I'd imagine it starts something like this. didn't expect the city to give me a time limit before I had to cut back on the drinking.
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[ Pits? Really, Cadelle? Why is his filter so weird? ]
anything i can do?
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I won't be good company til I shake this. but thank you.
distract me. please.
[She's not sure what exactly he was offering, but she won't subject him to her current state of being if she doesn't have to. even if finding something to slow the rotation of this planet is definitely a priority.]
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you put me on speaker
and i read you something. it'll either help you fall asleep, or you'll get into it and it'll distract you
or i can come over and draw you a bath. but i can do that later, too. anytime really.
a
[Isn't Vasquez glad that he doesn't have to tell the truth? He is, because even though he's never met this guy, he's already enjoying messing with him.]
I think maybe you should see a doctor.
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[ Nuwhat? That is not what he meant to write. ]
i feel like i'm in the sims, and not in a good way, in a 'the player is an evil overlord' way
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[He feels bad, but also because suddenly there's a lot of words that he doesn't understand and there's a very long delay before Vasquez replies again.]
I don't know half of the things you just said. Let's pretend they mean something, yes?
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wait
what year were you born in?
[ Because no one born past the 80's doesn't know about the Sims. Or so, Nate hopes. ]
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I definitely never kept track of these sims of yours, or whatever a video game is.
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where in 1844?
i'll show you the ropes of video gaming. i'm no jax, but i can still introduce you to them
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[It's a lie, but he hates telling people that he's from Texas, because he's not. Texas decided it wanted Mexico and his family lost a war, that's all.]
Wait, Jax? I know Jax. We usually only talk about animals, though.
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yeah, I know Jax! He's one of my teammates, back home.
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Teammates? What sort of team?
[This is what you get when you spend all your time worrying about animals.]
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c.r.e.a.m }
She follows it to it's source, and when she sees who it is, she can't help but smile at the sight. She doesn't know if it's possible to miss someone without even knowing they were there? Because she's pretty sure Nate was one of those people.]
I don't think that's how it goes.
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Nate has to forcibly refrain himself from reaching out. ]
Hey! It's been a while, hasn't it? Did you go on a trip?
[ Reaching into his back pocket, he pulls out his phone, lowering the volume slightly. ]
And no, it's definitely not how it goes, but it looks like even music is censored, at the moment.
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[Which is still ... really weird, but she's at least better at processing it when she's sober.]
But I've been meaning to come by, it just took me a while to piece stuff back together.
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[ No wonder she looks older. Also, this inability to swear makes him wince, because he sounds ridiculous. He looks down at Laurel, soft, a little smile at the corners of his lips. ]
You're doing okay? You know I still have your scarf.
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[And since she's vaguely aware of Nate being ahead of her.]
Do you remember the Undertaking, in Starling City? When Malcolm Merlyn tried to destroy the Glades? That just happened for me.
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Laurel, I'm so sorry.
[ Is there anything else to say? He doesn't think so. Gently, he pulls her closer, wrapping his arms around her in what he hopes is a comforting hug. ]
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It's not your fault. The people responsible are paying for it.
[At least as far as she knows. Moira's in jail, and Malcolm is dead. At least for now.]
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Well, that's something. But hey, if you ever need to let anything off your chest, I'm here for you, okay? Whatever you need.
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[There's a small smile in return because honestly, losing Tommy meant losing the one person it felt like who actually cared about her feelings. Coming back to Nate was a good reminder that she did have friends.
She just needed to get out of Starling City to find them.]
Is it weird that I'm glad you're still here?
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