cuddlemods: (Default)
CUDDLE CITY ● MOD TEAM ([personal profile] cuddlemods) wrote in [community profile] cuddlecity2018-04-01 10:03 am

EVENT: MOTHERFORKING SHIRT BALLS

EVENT: MOTHERFORKING SHIRT BALLS.


Good morning, Cadelle!

As March takes its final bow to make way for April, we're sure you're without a doubt wondering with bated breath if the city will somehow experience another deluge from the skies above or some other kind of natural disaster. After all, there's probably a number of you familiar with the concept of April showers, right? Despite the predictability that the first of the month tends to bring, the sun rises on a new month without much fanfare at all. The skies don't open up, the earth doesn't quake, and perhaps most disappointing of all, there's no fun activities to partake in hosted by the city's beloved Volunteer Coordinators, Flora and Cornelius.

However, that’s not to say nothing exciting has happened. Mayor Drake’s gone missing — in reality, she’s simply headed south of the border for a little much-needed R&R — and while the mayor’s away, the cats will play. (Or is that the other way around?)

As the sun begins to rise, it’s clear that there’s certainly something in the air. Check your CuddlePhone, and you might notice a strange crackling sound, as if you’d wandered into a field of static electricity; try to access anything but the city’s main pages and you’ll be greeted with a cheerful yellow message. Strange, but it may be worth reading:

DEAR CITIZENRY:

It has come to our attention that the city of Cadelle has begun a dangerous descent into a dungeon of disaster. Debauchery, drag racing, and even drunken revelry have begun to pervade our once-wholesome city, turning our citizenry into a class of common courtesans and charlatans! We shall not settle for such shameful social airs! Resist raunchy recklessness, Cadellians, or be redressed!

— CCC
The Concerned Citizens of Cadelle

While there’s admittedly quite a lot of alliteration to be found in said message, there’s not exactly a lot of meaning here. Should you head to City Hall for answers, you’ll find yourself greeted by the ever cheerful, smiling face of Doris Delatante — conveniently enough, the same Doris who so happens to be wearing a pin emblazoned with the logo of the CCC. (For the curious, said logo is a cat. They may be wordsy, but no one said they were particularly clever.)

You won’t get much in the way of answers out of Doris, only calm reassurances that everything is as it should be. It’s fine, of course! What could possibly be wrong with a little call to action? It’s only in the best interest of the city, isn’t it?

Whatever the reason, and whatever you think about Doris’ strange all-pink attire, it’s hardly the strangest thing you’ll experience in the coming days. Over the course of the following 24 hours, the city and its inhabitants begin to find themselves… well, shall we say, adjusted?

▸ As soon as the sun comes up on the morning of the first, a gentle breeze begins to blow through the city. With it comes a subtle change. You may notice it straight away, or you may not notice at all… but regardless, the change still comes: no swearing. No, really, we mean it. No matter how fervently or desperately you try, anything more colorful than a golly won’t slip past your lips… or your pen tips, for that matter. Any attempts to do so will result in comically ridiculous substitutions — like bullshirt, motherforker, or fish sticks!

▸ By mid-morning, the rays of the sun have left the city in perpetual spring warmth. It’s a beautiful day, complete with merrily chirping birds and the sweet smell of flowers blooming in every corner of the city. The day should stay beautiful, shouldn’t it? So perhaps it’s with no surprise that even your naked body won’t disparage it… as nudity, even seemingly innocuous moments like showering, is met with censorship. Should you disrobe to your birthday suit, you’ll be met with sudden and efficient pixelization from the neck down, blurring out all those distasteful parts of you a la the Sims. This might make getting frisky a bit difficult…

▸ Finally, by the time your first meal of the day rolls around, you might find yourself ready for a hot meal on the go, or perhaps just another cup of coffee. No matter whether you stop at your usual joint or wander around looking for something new, every delicious delectable food item you’ve been enjoying will have been replaced by the gently spinning faces of self-serve froyo machines. Shops look normal on the outside… but inside, you’ll be greeted with the florescent glow of your favorite (or perhaps least favorite ) trendy frozen yogurt shop. Come in for coffee and you might be irritated yet amused, but the flavors don’t stop at cheesecake or chocolate or caffe mocha. Nope! Keep exploring, and you’ll be greeted with such strange offerings as pasta flavored froyo, complete with marinara or alfredo flavored cookie crumbles, or bacon and eggs froyo with sausage sprinkles … or, for the desperate, beer flavored froyo. (Bar nuts cost extra… and yes, that froyo’s a virgin. Alcohol would ruin the consistency!)

It’s not the worst thing in the world, but it certainly doesn’t feel like you’re in the Cadelle you’ve come to know and love, does it? Hopefully Mayor Drake will come back sooner rather than later, but until then… well, we suppose you’ll just have to make the best of this Good Place!




Isn’t this sweet? April Fool’s, Cuddlers! We hope you enjoy this particularly silly spring event, brought to you by a meddling citizen and her penchant for good behavior… and your mod team’s recent bingewatch of a topical NBC comedy. We hope you’ll have fun ruining the bad behavior of your characters, even if they won’t have much fun with it!

If you have any further questions specific to this event, we encourage you to ask away on our QUESTIONS COMMENT here in this post. If you have general questions, or prefer a more private venue, our GENERAL INBOX (and SCREENED INBOX) is always available for you. In addition, if you've got an idea for a future event, feel free to drop us a line at our EVENTS SUGGESTION POST.

Have fun out there, and just remember: be excellent to each other!

nursetemple: (you think you're impressive)

50/50

[personal profile] nursetemple 2018-04-02 01:26 pm (UTC)(link)
"With what? Glow sticks and pixelated streaming through town?"

The answer is soft, amused. Claire comes up to Frank's level, looking up at their building ahead.

"Think you might want to ride this one out, Frank."
killertrack: (Baby1-48)

network

[personal profile] killertrack 2018-04-02 01:29 pm (UTC)(link)
isn't that missing the point, then?
nursetemple: (smile while working)

bullshorts

[personal profile] nursetemple 2018-04-02 01:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Claire walks by Bespoke every day; usually, when it's still closed, shutters down, street quiet. But today, with everything going on, she's got a bit more to do than just stay in the clinic - outreach needs to be done to some people she knows might have issues with the sudden dietary changes that have happened all throughout Cadelle.

Which is how she ends up in front of Bespoke, this time, the store open and busy. She doesn't hesitate to walk in after seeing the sign, going straight to the counter, interested, a thousand questions on the tip of her tongue. The man on the other side of the counter is wearing more eyeliner than she is, and he looks pissed. She can't help but smile.

"You're the owner? I'm Claire, I work at the hospital. I've been going around, offering help and kits around to interested parties - vitamins, IV drips, this kind of stuff. Think we can work together?"
recoined: (050)

[personal profile] recoined 2018-04-02 02:10 pm (UTC)(link)
idk? maybe?

( don't be so damn logical. )

i can check it off my bucket list, though
killertrack: (Baby2-36)

[personal profile] killertrack 2018-04-02 02:26 pm (UTC)(link)
well by all means, Kim, enjoy going streaking. Appreciate the invite, but I'll pass :)
recoined: (kim6)

[personal profile] recoined 2018-04-02 02:51 pm (UTC)(link)
okay, dad
thanks for the stamp of approval
coyandcryptic: (008)

[personal profile] coyandcryptic 2018-04-02 04:15 pm (UTC)(link)
The customer-service smile, a little friendlier than usual because he knows Frank, vanishes immediately, all pretense dropped. Magnus lets out an exasperated groan, pushing his fingers into his hair and leaving it even more spiky than before, and points an offended finger at the window, and by extension at the town.

"Rest assured, it will not," he says, stalking to the counter. "As soon as I spotted that, I started brewing up a few things that will actually give people nutrition, instead of whatever that is. Would you like one, or are you taking your chances with pesto frozen yogurt?"
coyandcryptic: (006)

[personal profile] coyandcryptic 2018-04-02 04:21 pm (UTC)(link)
"They took your private alcohol!?" Oh, no. No, that's not at all what he wants to hear. His fingers automatically begin to swirl in a spellcasting that will summon a martini, but he stops halfway through and lets it dissipate. He doesn't want to know what his reaction will be if he summons a martini glass filled with mouthwash, and besides, this poor woman needs his help.

"First things first," he says instead, hopping behind the counter and pulling out a rack of shimmering vials. He gives her a critical, assessing once-over before pulling one out that gleams the same color as new spring grass and holding it out. "Hangover cure. Guaranteed to halt dying right in its tracks."

He'd also made a note of that top she'd been admiring in case she'd like to wear a shirt today once the hangover has been put down, although his alterations are going to be guesswork if he can't see what he's doing.
coyandcryptic: (011)

[personal profile] coyandcryptic 2018-04-02 04:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Magnus isn't good at rules. He's glad to find Thor is happy to play along, although he would never have doubted. It's better having someone else to lean into anyway, this has been an upsetting morning.

"I think you're exactly right," he says darkly. "I've been keeping busy brewing up a few things that will help people who don't feel like eating catfish-flavored frozen yogurt, but they're only a stopgap, they're not designed to be used for more than a few days in emergencies. I don't like this."

The question "so what do we do about it?" isn't spoken aloud, but the narrow-eyed knowing look Magnus gives Thor might communicate it anyway.
coyandcryptic: (007)

[personal profile] coyandcryptic 2018-04-02 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
It's helped a little to be busy doing something, but Magnus is still seething. He's lived through a period or two of censorship and purity drives, and he'd rather not do it in his little vacation world, thank you very much. From the general attitude of his customers today, no one else is very happy about these new changes either.

He's long since dispensed with the customer-service smile by the time he turns to his new customer, but he immediately looks relieved and leans on the counter for an actual chat. Most everyone else in there has been served already, they're just lingering to trade rumors and he's more than happy to be rumor central. "I am, I'm Magnus Bane, very happy to meet you, and I would love to work together. What are they thinking out there, frozen yogurt everywhere? Horrifying."

He pulls one of the nutritional supplement bottles off the rack behind him and sets it on the counter. "I've been handing these out, but they're really only supposed to be used for a few days. I just don't have the ingredients here for anything longer-lasting, not unless there's a unicorn grove no one's told me about."
killertrack: (12)

[personal profile] killertrack 2018-04-02 06:40 pm (UTC)(link)
what if it the pixel thing drops while you're naked in the streets? maybe i should just drive very slowly by your side in case you need a getaway
shitmagnet: (50)

[personal profile] shitmagnet 2018-04-02 09:11 pm (UTC)(link)
"I was thinking more Revolutionary War style with red coats and muskets," he replies quietly. It'll be a cold day in Florida before he'd be caught with glow sticks or pixelated streaming. Also a little sad that he immediately thought about going in guns blazing just to bring things back to the status quo, but. The soldier who's spent his life fighting other peoples' wars doesn't really know of a better way to get bat guano done.

"Don't suppose you know what the blue skies is going on?"
shitmagnet: (26)

[personal profile] shitmagnet 2018-04-02 09:32 pm (UTC)(link)
"No I'm good thanks. My kids used to love this shawarma," Frank adds offhandedly. Enough time has passed that he doesn't flinch at the mere mention of them anymore. While the marine would only stomach one homebrew with dubious contents at a time, after having spent years on a MRE and protein bar diet, funnily enough he isn't so fussy about how his food is served.

"Guess I'm not tripping then. It's frozen yoghurt day?" he asks. Like Magnus knows the answer to all things.
theladyofwinterfell: (a rabbit hearted girl)

network

[personal profile] theladyofwinterfell 2018-04-02 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Kimberly, why are you showing me your breasts? Or trying to?
sororis: (002)

[personal profile] sororis 2018-04-02 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Isabelle isn't exactly in the best of moods by the time she graces the Deviant with her presence, and she's not expecting such an instant mood-lift when she gets there, either.

It's nearly impossible not to smile at the sight of Thor and Izzy doesn't resist the impulse for a moment, striding purposefully over to him and completely ignoring all decorum by placing her hands on his chest when she reaches him and stretching up as much as she can on the tips of her toes, hoping he'll concede and give her a kiss, despite being on the clock. With his height, it's nearly impossible without him bending over just enough to reach her.

"I didn't know you were working tonight," she says, remaining exactly where she is, hands against his chest.
diewalkure: (068)

[personal profile] diewalkure 2018-04-02 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
She makes a face saying what words don't need to, exactly how she felt about that revelation, herself. Especially since none of the right words seem to exist anymore. So far it hasn't seemed like any of the voluntary citizens are any happier about this cow pucky, but she really doesn't care about that. She cares that her brain feels like it's growing roots. Not enough to miss what he was doing with his hands, some kind of magic, but it doesn't seem to do anything that she can tell.

Valkyrie follows him automatically as he gathers a collection of potions, as far as she can tell, and puts her hands on her hips as he assesses her. She knows the picture she's presenting, knows she's a hot mess, but she's mostly at peace with it, even if coming to Cadelle has supposed to mean maybe improving on it. Not likely today.

She doesn't reach for the vial immediately, however. "What'll it cost me?" not rude, just matter of fact. Not a lot of good things have come for free in her life.
coyandcryptic: (004)

[personal profile] coyandcryptic 2018-04-02 10:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Magnus is on the verge of saying "Oh honey no, I wouldn't dream of charging, you need it," but he knows that look. He's had that look, he's needed to fight for quite a lot of what he has and good things rarely come for free.

"Where are you from?" he asks instead. "Are you a human?"

He can do a lot with a strand of hair from a human, but even more with a strand of hair from a number of other races, and it's a small price for her but still a fair one for him. Everybody wins, and he doesn't mind doing the thinking for her today.
diewalkure: (071)

[personal profile] diewalkure 2018-04-02 10:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[Next time she's having a good day and the Safe Search filter on the city is turned off, he'll get his wish.]

I think "drunken revelry" might be on me.

[she's definitely grinning, even if it doesn't translate to the text.]

I've never died before, but I'd imagine it starts something like this. didn't expect the city to give me a time limit before I had to cut back on the drinking.
coyandcryptic: (011)

[personal profile] coyandcryptic 2018-04-02 11:46 pm (UTC)(link)
"Your kids used to love pesto frozen yogurt?" Well, kids are strange, often. Magnus tries his best not to look horrified that Frank is actually going to eat that...stuff. "Well, I admit to being morbidly curious, just not quite enough to try it myself," he says with a little shudder. "But let me know if you find some combination that actually works and maybe I'll try it."

He glares at the back of the sign. Normally he would have tried to be artistic with it, but the stark block letters are a much better fit for his mood. "It's censorship and purity day, apparently. Everyone is pixelated from the neck down, even during a shower, alone, it's absolute forking donkey shirts what happens when you try to swear, and I can't seem to do a thing about it. I'm considering a revolution."

It's a joke, but it's also not at all a joke. If this keeps going, Magnus is absolutely going to do his best to overthrow whomever in power has decided this is a good course of action. He hasn't lived for 400+ years to start saying go fork yourself.
shitmagnet: (87)

[personal profile] shitmagnet 2018-04-03 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
"No not pesto. Like strawberry and-" And now it hits him and he doesn't want to talk about his dead children's favourite flavours of froyos and ice creams. His expression falters and he just kind of leaves it at that. "and s- stuff."

His eyes flicker from left to right and quietly he's thankful for the change in subject.

"Funny. I was thinkin' the same thing." Except you know, a bit more Americana style with guns and speeches, dirt in his mouth and his shoes, desert sun throwing green and blind spots across his eyes. He didn't fight and lose his brothers in wars to win censorship and purity for his home turf.
diewalkure: (066)

[personal profile] diewalkure 2018-04-03 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
She sighs deeply at the first question. It hasn't been a simple answer for a long, long time, even less so, these days, but her smirk reappears at the question of being human and she reassesses Magnus, herself. Most everyone she's met here has been from Earth, and hardly anyone has bothered to ask if she was human.

"Asgard," she answers. "Not very human." She's not sure exactly how this will translate to a cost, except maybe he should take the fact that's she's not human into consideration for a "cure." Wouldn't be the first time something didn't act as potent as it should once it hit her bloodstream.
quinientos: (so far so good)

a

[personal profile] quinientos 2018-04-03 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
It's totally just you.

[Isn't Vasquez glad that he doesn't have to tell the truth? He is, because even though he's never met this guy, he's already enjoying messing with him.]

I think maybe you should see a doctor.
quinientos: (you did not)

50/50

[personal profile] quinientos 2018-04-03 01:08 am (UTC)(link)
"Whatever it is, save a place for me," Vasquez insists from behind the man, having been staring at the eyesore for too long, mostly lingering because he's still annoyed about the lack of swearing, but given that every time he lights up a cigarette, he gets glared at, it's only enough for him to want to stick around and make them glare some more.

It makes up for the fact that he can't swear in English or Spanish, which is pretty much how he gets through any day, so he'll take what he can get.

"I've got two hands and three guns, you name the place," he says, not entirely sure if he's just joking.
shitmagnet: (79)

[personal profile] shitmagnet 2018-04-03 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
Frank glances over his shoulder and is about to return his attention to their target but ends up staring for a while. Guy walking around town sporting a legit cowboy sort of look is bound to raise some eyebrows and he certainly got Frank's attention.

Make that two men, four hands and... more guns than they have hands. They might be getting somewhere now.

"Who's in charge 'round here, d'you know?" He's kind of surprised that the kiddyproof ban or whatever hasn't extended to walking Luckies advertisements.
recoined: (130)

[personal profile] recoined 2018-04-03 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
( oh, right. medieval barbie's never played the sims. kimberly has to wonder if she knows what a pixel is. )

because they're totally blurred out, right?
listen, have you ever been streaking?

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