When does anyone learn to text? When you're a bored teenager with nothing else to do. Well, I mean, phones weren't too much of a thing, but you can learn enough from exposure to kids these days.

[He's not old, exactly, but at thirty-five, phones and texting came in a little later than they did for more teens.]

What, am I offending you with my bad texting?

[He's still smirking, because he's enjoying that touch to his chest. In fact, maybe he's even puffing out a little so that she can touch it. So sue him, he's shameless.]