( open ) ✘ ❝ i know my call ❞

[advena]

CHARACTERS: kara zor-el & you.
LOCATIONS: around the city.
WARNINGS: physical violence, angst, general Good Times™
NOTE: forward-dated. spoilers up to supergirl 3.09
SUMMARY: as of january 5, kara's come back from her canon update, and she's ready to ... not be here, mostly.

✘ arrival & arrangements.

( her arrival is... sudden, for lack of a better word. she arrives as swiftly as she'd fallen, blood and bruises still prominent even after the city's administration checks her in. no, she tells them, i want to remember. if she must be here, if she must come back, she wants to be herself.

they offer her the belongings she'd left in their trust — things like her keys, filled with access to everything from the off-site townhome she'd registered with someone else to the back door of a business she barely remembers — but she declines them all. instead, kara quietly accepts a temporary assignment in the alpha building, a room they promise she'll find particularly comfortable on the top floor.

is it comfortable? perhaps it could be, if she wanted comfort. but all kara zor-el can ask for is the one thing she cannot have just yet: peace, brought by the knowledge that what horror she's left behind to flourish in her absence has finally been silenced, and that will not happen until she earns her piece here.

charity, they tell her, or intimate kindness. the idea of being intimate with anyone feels impossible. so here she is, lingering in the hallway of the volunteer center, looking considerably worse for wear, trademark glasses and librarian get-up traded in for dark slacks and a deo-issued grey sweater. )

I'd like to volunteer, please. Somewhere quiet.

✘ the sky & the sea.

( in the middle of the night, the sky is milky black and shimmering from the echoes of the stars dotted across; every so often, the occasional speck of a plane or a light in the distance breaks the scene. if you look closely, though, there's more than just clouds and birds and metal in the sky — there's the faint outline of a girl, too, a blur of colors floating in the distance, the outline of fabric fluttering in the breeze. it's neither a bird nor a plane, however; it's just kara, aimlessly drifting over the city.

from the ground, it might be hard to tell exactly who's up there, but if you've got a higher vantage point — like the high floors of a building, or your own capabilities for flight — you might be able to recognize the shape of the girl afloat, though said shape might be the only thing recognizable. instead of her librarian chic getup or the bright colors of her supergirl cape and boots, kara's dressed a bit... less formally.

warm grey cotton, varying shades from head to toe, might not indicate her current state, but the gentle close of her eyes just might. her hands dangle from her side as she floats, the night breeze carrying her to and fro as she slumbers. sleepflying. it's a thing. maybe you'll care to wake her, or to listen as she murmurs in her sleep. )

... the book of Rao... the symbols... please don't...

✘ of fists & fangs.

( sucker punch, with its dim lighting and the inexplicable coating of dust that seems to settle in everything, is not the sort of place you'd expect to find sunshine incarnate kara danvers. really, it's not even the sort of place you'd expect to hear about her, let alone run into her face-to-face. but if you happen to go in on just the right day, at precisely the right time, you might just find her there.

to be entirely fair, it's not exactly kara danvers, human ray of sunshine, who finds herself settled inside the ring. no, the slim, quiet girl with the echoes of bruising across her cheekbones hardly seems a fair comparison to the chipper sweetheart that had left this city just a week ago.

there's a quiet intensity to her now, intent in each strike of fist against the reinforced metal she's hung in place of a punching bag, resolve in each low exhale of breath as she attempts each move in her memory.

when the metal finally gives way, she lingers near the ropes of the boxing ring, blonde hair tied up in a ponytail and her everyday attire exchanged for a rather cozy-looking sweatpants and t-shirt combo, looking more like a skittish potential fighter than a girl who could knock out the hulk with a good right hook. it might be easier to practice there. it's only this knowledge that has her turning to the next person who crosses her path, to murmur: )

I need a sparring partner.

✘ free spaces & wildcards.

( for convenience's sake, i've drawn up a few starters! however, anyone who knows her might notice she's not been at any of her usual hangouts — home, criminales, the alluring warmth of wok and roll on unlimited potstickers day, and so on. feel free to call her out on it, or alternatively, if you fancy a chance meeting with the girl formerly known as kara danvers, by all means, have at it.

feel free to pm me or hit me up at semicolons if you want to hash something out in advance, though! )

Comments

[advena]

( she knew this would happen. sooner or later, one way or another, she knew there'd be someone who would force their way through. if it wasn't barry, it'd be thea, and so far both of them have proven her right. hiding, in as much as she's even capable of doing so, is not going to work for her.

so kara opens the door, even against her better instincts, and gives a half-hearted little wave of her hand. come inside. she doesn't need to say it out loud for thea to do it. she knows that much too.

in the little starter apartment, there's not much space. it's hardly the better homes and gardens style she'd carefully put together, but at least there's a single chair at a desk. feel free to sit there, thea, because kara's just going to curl into the corner of her bed, knees pulled up to her chest to give her chin somewhere to rest.

battered, bruised, and tired. what a sight she must be. )

... well, you found me.

[withasouvenir]

[ no, thea is not going to sit in the chair, she's going to clamber right on the to bed next to kara and curl her arms around the woman she considers the second big sister she'd never actually had. (the first, of course, had been laurel. thea laying claim to her brother's girlfriends is a historical precedent.) ]

Yeah, I found you. Sorry I didn't feel like waiting five years for you to show up like nothing happened.

[ don't be like oliver, kara. ]

[advena]

( she doesn't know what to say at first. in fact, for a long moment, kara doesn't say anything at all; her shoulders roll forward, releasing a bit of tension she hadn't realized she was carrying, and her body eventually gives in to the support that thea's embrace offers. it's probably a comical sight. )

I can't go back there. ( to the townhouse. to her home. she knows barry's already gone and told oliver, because he's barry, and promised he could come by in a few days. she knows barry's made those promises, because he's so confident she'll wake up and be ready. but she's not ready now, and she's not sure she'll ever be. ) I — I thought if I just stayed away, it'd be easier.

[withasouvenir]

[ it's not comical, it's breaks thea's heart how resistant she is to the affection at first. it's kara, all bubbly and golden and now she's so sad. ]

Then don't go back. [ thea knows all about stepping away. ] But why can't you go back?

[advena]

( kara hesitates for a moment, heavy breaths going in and out, before she finally spills the beans. she can't lie to thea. she's never been able to. )

I went home. ( she knows thea knows that, but it's a start, right? ) I went back to... to help my sister, to take care of her. And it was okay, at first.

( she may have met a man and fallen for him, only to lose him, only to get him back, only to lose him again in the most permanent of ways — barring death, of course — but that wasn't the pain that was weighing so heavily. coming back to cadelle had made her realize how little mon-el meant in comparison to something else altogether. )

I... I went to your earth. For Barry's wedding, I went with my sister, and it was beautiful. The wedding was really, really beautiful. ( but they can't have nice things, can they? ) But it got... hijacked. By evil Nazi versions of me and Oliver and their army.

( it sounds so insane. )

We — they — they were married. To each other, Thea, evil versions of Oliver and I were married to each other.

[withasouvenir]

[ poor barry and iris, thea's expression falls because that's gotta be disheartening. ]

First of all, you don't need to specify evil Nazis, literally all Nazis are evil, that is their thing. But aside from the Nazis, I'm not seeing what that has to do with not being able to go back to the townhouse?

[advena]

( a blank stare of 'how are you not getting this' )

... do I need to remind you about the whole "Nazi Kara and Oliver are married and running the entire Third Reich"? I thought that was going to be pretty self-explanatory, honestly.

[withasouvenir]

[ it is with an air of true patience that thea continues, ]

Yes, and that is objectively bad because, again, Nazis are evil. But you are not a Nazi, Oliver is not a Nazi, your Earth whatever dopplegangers didn't get married and then become Nazis. Marriage changes your tax breaks, it doesn't give you an entirely new ideology and hate of all things different.

[ if she moves back in with ollie she isn't going to suddenly be a nazi. thea knows kara couldn't hate her own sister and nazis were not fond of the gays. ]

[advena]

( she knows. logically, kara knows that they're not going to suddenly turn into the hitler youth just because she moves back in with her boyfriend. but there's a part of her that has wrung herself into an emotional coma that just can't give in so easily. )

I'm just — I don't know. Worried. That Oliver will do something reckless or dangerous, because he thinks he's protecting me, and someone could get hurt.

( it's a stupid excuse, and she knows it. )